Wake up 5am in the morning
Ma head banging, eyes red, room spinning
I can feel the Angel in me screaming
Then shake my head as I sadly watch him leaving
Was wide awake but it really felt like I was dreaming
I swear it felt like being conscious in a comma
As a grotesque scent slowly displaces his sweet aroma
The feeling so lonely seeing myself at that point in time a true loner
So lost in my dark way
That I left no room for my pure angel to stay
Took a detour and watched helplessly as my life went astray
Knowing half my friends are worse made less ashamed
At the end it’s all just a quest to give yourself a social name
Not realising it’s really just a game
Between true happiness and the life you lead being deeply and unconsciously insane
Take a shower, heart pounds a million beats an hour
Closed my eyes and listened to the vodka, nicotine and weed self devour
And thinking ohh no church is in an hour!!
Upon arrival the whole vibe is weakening
I’m the only flower in the garden no blossoming
Found closure in knowing I was probably not the only one hearing the Pastor but just not listening.
I WAS JUST A DARK LIGHT IN A BRIGHT ROOM my inner glow was barely glistening.
(This entry is just a fraction of the day to day battles I had before I accepted Christ Jesus as my personal Lord and saviour!!)
